bepeu:

no one has a crush on me. i am too strong to be crushed

jensen-mackerels:

god said adam and eve not throw adam in hell and leave

sub-maureen:

no, but how high do you have to be to write a movie about a toaster and a vacuum cleaner going on an adventure to Mars riding a ceiling fan

vanehwasreal:

my sister sent me a text saying “for the next 30 years you have to live with one person in the same room all the time. afterwards you have to kill them. would you choose someone you like or someone you hate?”

I have never been more distraught in my entire life